


just a kiss (goodnight).

by iloveyousweetbean



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Angst, Coming Out, F/F, Fluff, Kissing, Light Angst, Long-Distance Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-11
Updated: 2019-08-11
Packaged: 2020-08-18 23:40:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,286
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20200102
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iloveyousweetbean/pseuds/iloveyousweetbean
Summary: Alya is leaving soon and she's giving up many things and pushing away those closest to her. Marinette manages to reach out to her and Alya is running on limited time, and as the day comes closer, Alya must make a choice and decide whether she will confess or leave without telling Marinette how she feels.





	just a kiss (goodnight).

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Megatraven](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Megatraven/gifts).

* * *

“You get to keep your miraculous on one condition.” The elderly man pressed the box into her hands and closed her fingers around it. “It’ll be easier in times of need and you will know when the time calls for it. Ladybug will call for you. But you have to use it responsibly and make sure to never turn like Hawkmoth.”

“It’s been five years, Guardian. I’m...not too sure I want to do this anymore.” Alya responded, pressing the box back into his hands, “It’s taken a toll on me and I have other things to worry about right now. It sucks because it’s a great opportunity, but I… I’m not too sure I want...well, this.”

“You do understand that in rejecting this miraculous,there’s a chance you won’t be able to wield another or this one ever again.” 

Alya paused for a moment, remembering all the times she had fought beside her childhood crush, Ladybug, and for a moment, Alya wanted to take it back. She began to reach for the miraculous box again, but decided against it in the end, and took her hand back instead. 

“I understand, sir.”

“I’ll find another fox wielder, then. I do have to say, I haven’t seen a fierce fox warrior like yourself since the original. It’s a shame that Trixx has to find a new holder, but your service to the cause will always always appreciated. Take care, Alya Cesaire, past holder of the fox Miraculous.” The Guardian shoved the box into his pocket and Alya bit her lip to keep from crying.

It was a huge decision to make, to give up the one thing that felt freeing and made her feel like she could fly. But it was the right choice in the end, because she was moving to another country in a week and she knew that the fox was important. Leaving and taking it with her would be irresponsible and selfish. It would also fail Ladybug’s trust and Alya didn’t want to imagine the look of betrayal on her face when she realized what Alya had done. 

Because Alya was leaving without a warning. Alya had quietly and slowly disappeared from everyone’s lives because she knew it would break her heart to say goodbye to the people that had welcomed her into an unknown school and now, she was going to go alone into an unknown country where they couldn’t go because their lives where elsewhere.

“I’m so sorry, Ladybug.”

* * *

Alya found herself on the first day of the new week (and last week she had left in Paris) rather odd, seeing the news report a new fox holder. Alya was in a cafe, where she used to go to with Marinette and she turned off her phone.

Marinette had been texting her, asking where she was and why Alya had been declining each and every attempt at reaching out to her. 

*****

[**baked.design**] Al, pick up ur phone.

[**baked.design**] i have tix for the new movie. u available.

[**baked.design**] al, i’m not going to keep texting u

[**baked.design**] alya i’m worried about you.

[**baked.design**] u know if something’s going on, u can always tell me.

[**baked.design**] als, nino and adrien are worried about u.

[**baked.design**] alya...i’m worried

*****

Alya couldn’t find it in her to answer her and she actively avoided Marinette, taking different routes and going as far as to pretend she wasn’t home when she clearly was. 

Alya took a sip of her coffee and she picked up on people murmuring about the new fox-themed superhero, Kitsune. From what Alya could tell, the new fox holder was fierce and ready to throw her life on the line, throwing herself literally in front of the akumas to protect Ladybug and Chat Noir.

_ Ladybug. _

Her face flashed in front of Alya’s, a memory, and Alya choked on her coffee. It began to taste bitter and she realized there were tears that had fallen in. Alya had been so lost in thought, she hadn’t realized that the tears were slowly coming down her cheeks and had splashed into her coffee.

Marinette’s face also flashed in front of her and all Alya could think of was the time Marinette had kissed her during a sleepover, during a game of spin the bottle with the boys and girls, and Alya had been the nervous one, usually so confident. And Marinette had guided her. She had been shaking a bit, of course, but when their lips came together, Alya swore Marinette took her breath away, but Marinette waved her off, saying she wasn’t that good of a kisser.

Alya had only ever loved two people in her life. The first was Marinette and the second was Ladybug. She still loved both of them, but if she had to choose, she didn’t know who. 

She didn’t want to think about it.

She finished her coffee and stood up after leaving a tip. She grabbed her bag and slung it over her shoulder, heading out to go pick up her sisters from Nora’s boxing match. They were in their teens and it saddened Alya slightly, seeing them all grown up. It reminded her, as she glanced at a nearby window to fix her hair, that she was also growing up and away from everyone around her.

As she walked to the place where her sisters were, she saw Marinette before Marinette saw her and jumped into a nearby shop. 

Unfortunately, it was the same shop Marinette had in mind and Alya found herself hiding behind the racks of clothes.

“I came to pick up the kit I left here the other day.” Marinette began to chat with the cashier and Alya took this as her chance to leave, but Marinette caught her before she could. “Alya?”

“I have no idea who you’re talking about. Alya-”

“Alya, cut the bull.” Marinette had her hands on her hips angrily and Alya found herself trapped between the door and Marinette, “I’ll pick you up tomorrow in the evening and I’m taking you out to dinner. We’re going to have a long talk.”

“Are you asking me out on a date?” Alya knew it was a bad time. She knew Marinette was angry that Alya hadn’t been answering her texts for weeks and she’d been avoiding Marinette at all costs. 

“I’ll see you at six o’clock.” Marinette grunted and turned back around to the cashier, who had her kit ready.

Alya opened the door and left as quickly as she had come. She was late to picking up her sisters and she had Marinette to worry about now.

* * *

Alya knew she shouldn’t be so anxious about food and talk, but it was Marinette and she was angry. Well, maybe not angry because that seemed a bit too much for Marinette, but upset seemed like the proper word. 

“Alya, Marinette is here for you!” Nora opened the door for Alya and Alya scowled at her older sister in annoyance. Nora had come to visit Alya at the old house, where Alya still lived with her family, to help her pack and Alya was glad to have her sister’s help as she packed her things.

“Nora, I’m not a baby! I can open the door myself!”Alya stomped her feet and she felt like a child when she did and Nora gave her a stern look.

“Alya…” Nora’s voice is soft, but her expression doesn’t quite match her voice. 

Alya knows Nora is still taking time to process what Alya had told her on on Sunday. Alya had finally come out to her family and Nora, who only saw Alya as her baby sister, was afraid of what that would mean for Alya. She was the only one who wasn’t smiling when Alya told them why and Alya understood, but it still hurt. 

“Yes, Nora?”

“Take care. I’ll finish up here. Have fun, okay? And call me if anything happens.” Nora pushed her out the door gently and Alya nodded, reassuring her older sister. 

“After she’s said everything she needs to, I’ll make sure to do that.” Alya closed the door behind her and Marinette was standing across from her, “You ready to go?”

“You’re in trouble. You do realize that, right?” Marinette pointed out, joining Alya on the walk down the stairs.

“Of course I do, girl. But I might as well have a little fun before you murder me, right?” Alya nudged Marinette with her hip playfully and she knew Marinette wasn’t that upset because, although she tried to hide it, Alya could see the corners of her mouth turning up. 

*****

“Spill everything.” Marinette demanded as she walked Alya back to her home. “And I mean everything.”

Dinner had been a mistake because the both of them had stayed quiet and it was awkward as Alya had tried to think of a way to start the conversation, so Marinette would feel comfortable speaking, but the opportunity had never presented itself.

Once they were finished and the bill was paid, Marinette had begun to talk up a storm and Alya had laughed at all her joked and a strange feeling took over after a few minutes. 

She would miss Marinette the most.

“What is there to spill?” Alya returned, dodging the question and she knew Marinette wouldn’t let it rest.

“I saw the boxes in your house, Als. Are you...leaving, Alya?” Marinette asked, a frown quickly replacing the laughter and Alya stopped and shoved her hands in the pockets of her dress.

“God, no. What are you talking about?” Alya barked out and forced out laughter that sounded hollow to her own ears. “Why would I move?”

“Just stop it, Alya. Please.” Marinette placed her hands on Alya’s shoulder firmly, “ Just be honest with me,  _ please _ .”

“God, Mari. I’m moving, okay? To another country halfway across the world for a big project I was assigned at work. I don’t know how long I’ll be gone, but I’m just taking a few boxes of my belongings with me while I’m over there. I could be gone weeks, months, years. I might never come back!” Alya confessed.

“I’ve given up a lot of things, including friendships, out of fear that I’ll lose them anyway or because I think I’m being selfish by keeping them!”

“Are you crazy?” Marinette closed her eyes and Alya could see her lips were mouthing from one to ten and her breathing came out harsh and hurried. “I was worried sick about you and all I could think about was something was wrong with you because you deleted the Ladyblog and gosh, Alya!”

Alya felt guilty, but she did it, pushed everyone and everything away, because she was afraid that moving would mean losing those friendships and she couldn’t go through it again, after moving the first time. 

“I’m so sorry, Mari.”

“Don’t apologize. It was just the concern...I was just concerned about you and how you were doing because no one seemed to be able to get a hold of you and your family claimed they didn’t know what was going on.” Marinette ran a hand through her own hair and Alya chewed on her lip, tasting orange lip balm and she turned her gaze to the floor.

“I know it’s really bad timing, but can I kiss you?” Alya asked for consent and Marinette’s expression changed from agitation to tender. 

“A-alright.”

Alya stepped forward and grabbed Marinette’s face carefully with her hands, stroking back her hair with her thumbs and she let their noses touch briefly.

She was choosing to love Mari as much as she could before she left. She realized that Ladybug had been a crush and not love as Marinette drew in a sharp breath when their lips finally met and Alya’s heart began to pound in her ears.

“Precious.” Alya murmured, tracing Marinette’s lips with her index finger slowly, “Gorgeous. Stunning. Lovely.”

“Those are all synonyms, Alya.” Marinette’s eyes were following her finger and Alya simpered, leaning again, but it was just a tease. “Please don’t pull away, Alya. We all care about you deeply and you’re not going to lose any of us, no matter how far away you are, we’ll always be near. Even if it’s through phone calls, video calls or letters, we’ll always love you, Alya. You don’t have to choose between leaving or staying. We fully support you and wherever you go, and all the choices you make, Alya.”

“I’m choosing to love you. I’m choosing to give you all my love and no matter how far apart we are, I love you.” Alya smiled as she pressed her forehead against Marinette’s and began to chuckle lightly, “It took me six years to confess my feelings for you. Even after the sleepover.”

“I was blind. I thought you weren’t serious and I had the biggest crush on you since I met you. It felt like a dream and I got pinched when I asked if it was.” Marinette’s hands found their way to Alya’s hips and Alya delicately placed a tiny kiss on the tip of Marinette’s nose.

“You didn’t believe me when I told you that you took my breath away.” Alya shook her head playfully, “I really should walk you home and get home myself before my sister scolds me.”

“Are you and her fine? She looked even more troubled than usual when she told you good-bye.” 

“Yeah, I came out on Sunday, that’s all. She wasn’t as happy, not because she didn’t accept me, but because of all the danger she imagined I could be in. The news nowadays isn’t pretty and she’s afraid she won’t always be there to protect me from homophobic assholes. But I can protect myself just fine. I always carry something to protect me.”

“She’s being a good big sister, looking out for you. Just give her time, because she still sees you as her little sister.”

“Have you come out yet to your parents?”

“No, I haven’t, actually. Not yet. My mom’s side of the family are a bit more...used to the old ways and are very exclusive.” Marinette leaned into Alya and Alya held her, “Mom’s the one who gets worried more, and if I tell my dad, I have to tell both, so right now, I’m still in the closet.”

“My awesome bestie who’s also the person I love the most.” Alya rested her chin on top of Marinette’s head, “Girlfriend, if you’d like.”

“Girlfriend sounds lovely.” Marinette snuggled up closer to her, “But we should probably get home before your sister gets even more frightened than she already is.”

“Are you sure? About the girlfriend part? I'd understand-”

“I’ve never been more sure of anything else in my life, Alya Cesaire.” Marinette returned the earlier nudge with her hip that Alya had done earlier. “Love of my life.”

“Love of mine.”

* * *

On the last night before she was set to leave the next afternoon, Alya found herself sitting crisscrossed outside on her balcony. She remembered the first time she had transformed into Rena Rouge and it made her smile thoughtfully.

It was a wonderful memory and she remembered the rush of adrenaline that filled her as she followed her childhood crush on the rooftops, to save her sisters.

Marinette had suggested she come over, but Alya turned her down gently. She wanted to be alone and gather her thoughts before she bid everyone farewell. 

“Lonely out here, isn’t it?”

It was Ladybug. On the railings of her balcony.

“Huh?” Alya stumbled as she tried to stand up, “What’re you doing here, Ladybug?”

“I came to invite you out one last run, as Rena Rouge.” Ladybug held out the fox necklace that Alya had worn so many times in the past five years. It was so familiar to her, that as soon as Alya took it and put the necklace on, the words automatically escaped her lips.

“Trixx, let’s pounce!”

Both Ladybug and Trixx’s expressions were full of joy and warmth at seeing her so eager to put it on and transform.

*****

When Alya found herself back where she started, de-trasformed, she handed the necklace back into Ladybug’s hands.

“I assume you had to find another holder for the fox miraculous because of my absence.”

“I did, but the Guardian didn’t explain why you gave it up. You were a good fox, Rena Rouge.”

“My replacement is just as good.” Alya sighed with a smile, “I know I’ve done the right thing.”

“It’s your last night here.” Ladybug hopped down to join her, standing next to her to look at the moon and stars. “Can I tell you a secret?”

“Only if I can tell you mine.”

“Do you want to go first?” Ladybug offered, giving her a side glance and Alya shrugged.

“I used to have a crush on you when I was younger. I thought I loved you!” Alya flipped her phone nervously in the air, “But it turns out that just wasn’t it. It was close. I love Marinette and it’s so weird saying this to you now, but that’s my little secret.”

“Tikki, spots off.”

Alya couldn’t close her mouth as she realized that in a split second, everything was different.

_ But it was all the same. _

“You-Ladybug?” Alya’s mouth had decided to rebel against her and didn’t let her form proper words. “That’s amazing! You’re amazing! My girlfriend!”

Alya tackled her into a hug and tried not to make too much noise, to avoid waking up her family as she landed on the floor with Marinette giggling, holding her by the waist.

“Of course it’s me, silly.” Marinette began to tickle Alya, “You came so close to figuring it out so many times and I had to throw you off so many times. You really do have a knack for being a reporter.”

“Of course I do. I knew it was you.”

“No, you didn’t.”

“Yes, I did.”

“No, you didn’t.” Marinette repeated, tickling her harder until she admitted it.

“Okay, I didn’t.” Alya pushed Marinette’s fingers away from her and helped her up on her feet, “But I did have a feeling. No one goes to the restroom that often and for a really long time.”

“I was the worst at hiding it, but most just assumed I had restroom problems. It was apparently confirmed when Adrien showed up with the constipation pills when I tried telling him that Kagami liked him because she couldn’t do it herself and she asked me to.”

“The price you paid for telling him. He thought you were suffering from constipation like the rest of us did.”

Alya embraced her and she could feel the tears begin to prick her eyes. “I’m going to miss this. I’m going to miss you.”

“I’m always a phone call away, Alya. No matter how weird our time zones are, I’ll make sure to work something out.” Marinette held her tighter and Alya took comfort in her arms.

“I’ll visit when I can.”

“I’ll be here to welcome you with open arms and a sign with big hearts.” 

“That’ll be nice.” Alya responded, ruffling Marinette’s hair before leaning in one last time to kiss her.

It was flavor she knew nothing else could ever compete with because Marinette tasted like strawberries and cherries. She made the flavor taste like heaven and Alya didn’t want her to go, but she knew Marinette had to go to sleep, like she did.

“I’ll come by before you leave, I promise.”

“I love you.”

“I love you, too.” Alya choked out, slowly letting Marinette go and she transformed back into Ladybug, “Sweet dreams, lovebug.”

* * *

  
  



End file.
